I run, I Walk

 I haven't jogged in two months. I sustained a minor bruise in my heel and it was bad enough that I needed to take a break. That, along with traveling through 7 states in 2 weeks, my grandfather's death, trying to maintain diet and homeschooling, and some personal things going on- it's been far away from my brain.  

Tonight I went out in the cold and a lite dusting of snow and I jogged. I only made it 15 minutes with about 11 of that being jogging. BUT it was much needed and it felt good. 

Jogging is great for me because I am able to do whatever I want to do. I can walk. I can stop. I can push for more. I can think, breath, cry, laugh, pray, smile. All at my own pace. I really missed all of that and so many emotions came flooding to me in the 15 mins I was out. 

 My break and injury in jogging can easily be compared to my emotional state right now. My injury sideswiped me and left me feeling repressed and frustrated in a time I could have used an outlet. I pushed really hard this summer, by God's grace, to do things that were hard and uncomfortable. Physically and emotionally. Take jogging for example. I shouldn't be a jogger. I have a bum knee, flat feet, I'm overweight, I have three children, and I am usually a short term project kind of gal. For some reason I have pushed to keep this in my life and to meet goals and to be active even when it's hard. The same goes with some things emotionally. All of the sudden, these things I had worked really hard at were put on hold. I could kind of feel my identity and my confidence fading. Add my grandfather passing on top of it and a super disorganized home a schedule. All of it happened at once. Left me reeling. Thankfully, God is good. He keeps my attention everyday and brings me back to my greater purpose- being Christ to others and raising up little girls who love Him and love others.  Even when there is a bump in the road, an injury, a few pounds gained, a messed up schedule, a less then perfect home, and a personal wound- I. Am. His. Nothing steals that away. He created me to do hard things. He also gives me grace. The last two months it was okay to take a break. To grieve over different losses. To try to find a new normal and to rest in the hands of my God. I hear Him whisper to me that it is time to stand up. Do the hard stuff. It might be cold and dark out but it's time to jog again. Time for me to Walk again. 

This post is personal to me but I really felt like I needed to share it. I am still learning how to be this healthier version of myself and how to fit it in. I'm excited for a new season of getting back to who I am created to be. I'll keep ya posted!