"Green"sleeves

I tend to wear things on my sleeves. My emotions, my health, bad circumstances, good circumstances...Im not really too hesitant to talk about it because I know that life is life and things are how they are. Don't get me wrong I dont go to the store, find the first person I see and tell her "hey, I just smoked a bowl" ( I actually had a lady recently tell me this exact statement....and I just want to clarify that when I say I wear things on my sleeves...its not this kind of stuff. And now I need to clarify I don't smoke pot. I really don't. Maybe this was a bad example.) SO ANYWAY

The same can be said when it comes to finances. I think most of my friends know we are not very established when it comes to money. Something that God has been working in my heart for a number of years now. At first it was a pride thing....and now I just find myself becoming more humbled. Sometimes I find myself wondering if I should conceal this fact a little more. I don't want people to feel sorry for us or think we are a constant "hand out". BUT it is hard to conceal something like this when we have people who want us to travel to see them and we can't because we are already late on rent. OR people come over to stay and I tell them to help themselves to anything they want, and next thing I know they want to make a run to the local store to get soda or something. I feel awful with that kind of thing....how do you tell someone "Im really sorry I can't provide you with a better meal or beverage during your stay." It is so hard. Not a place I love being.

SO I was thinking about all of this last night because I see some financial "hardships" coming our way and I was just wishing for the day we will be financially solid. And then this thought came to my mind. Maybe we won't ever be financially sound. Maybe we are in this for a while. God may still have some tugging on my heart, or Jamie's, or our kids, or even someone we don't even know about. God says He will provide for our needs....and ours have been met through several people and through government help. Maybe thats how He will continue to do so.

Which brings me to my last thought. Should I be trying to conceal where God has put me? After all Jesus had a pair of sandals and that was about all.....and who says our circumstances are shameful. We do the best with what God has given us and He has provided beyond our needs.