Feeling Less

 A couple good friends and I have been chatting about the subject of comparison and feeling less. Today I have definitely felt myself fall into this feeling of not adding up and it just wasted my day. I spent time thinking about how I could add up in some areas and lost track of what really mattered today. 

 It kind of hit me. The days that I waste feeling less and wishing I added up more are just that. A waste. God sent His precious Son, the perfect lamb and blameless man, to die for my sins. Honestly, I don't have time to sit around and wish I was something I'm not. I need to embrace who Christ has made me to be and do my best. Sure there is room for growth, but sitting here wishing this and that were different and wondering if I add up is not only pointless but a form of covet. I am where I am for a purpose. God not only loves me through it, but He placed me here ❤️

I run, I Walk

 I haven't jogged in two months. I sustained a minor bruise in my heel and it was bad enough that I needed to take a break. That, along with traveling through 7 states in 2 weeks, my grandfather's death, trying to maintain diet and homeschooling, and some personal things going on- it's been far away from my brain.  

Tonight I went out in the cold and a lite dusting of snow and I jogged. I only made it 15 minutes with about 11 of that being jogging. BUT it was much needed and it felt good. 

Jogging is great for me because I am able to do whatever I want to do. I can walk. I can stop. I can push for more. I can think, breath, cry, laugh, pray, smile. All at my own pace. I really missed all of that and so many emotions came flooding to me in the 15 mins I was out. 

 My break and injury in jogging can easily be compared to my emotional state right now. My injury sideswiped me and left me feeling repressed and frustrated in a time I could have used an outlet. I pushed really hard this summer, by God's grace, to do things that were hard and uncomfortable. Physically and emotionally. Take jogging for example. I shouldn't be a jogger. I have a bum knee, flat feet, I'm overweight, I have three children, and I am usually a short term project kind of gal. For some reason I have pushed to keep this in my life and to meet goals and to be active even when it's hard. The same goes with some things emotionally. All of the sudden, these things I had worked really hard at were put on hold. I could kind of feel my identity and my confidence fading. Add my grandfather passing on top of it and a super disorganized home a schedule. All of it happened at once. Left me reeling. Thankfully, God is good. He keeps my attention everyday and brings me back to my greater purpose- being Christ to others and raising up little girls who love Him and love others.  Even when there is a bump in the road, an injury, a few pounds gained, a messed up schedule, a less then perfect home, and a personal wound- I. Am. His. Nothing steals that away. He created me to do hard things. He also gives me grace. The last two months it was okay to take a break. To grieve over different losses. To try to find a new normal and to rest in the hands of my God. I hear Him whisper to me that it is time to stand up. Do the hard stuff. It might be cold and dark out but it's time to jog again. Time for me to Walk again. 

This post is personal to me but I really felt like I needed to share it. I am still learning how to be this healthier version of myself and how to fit it in. I'm excited for a new season of getting back to who I am created to be. I'll keep ya posted!

Above All Else

 Have you ever heard that saying, "Cleanliness is next to Godliness"? Not my fav. Not only because I am an unorganized individual (I guess I am still clean but not organized) but that just assumed that we are all the same personality and that we should all fit into this certain mold. If my cleanliness is on the weakness list, this saying implies that so is my Godliness.

 Lately I have done nothing but talk about health and diet. I have been talking about it so much that I realize that it may be blurring the most important topic. That is my God.

 I want to let everyone know that when I talk about the big changes we have made in our lives, our exercise and health goals, our weight....all of that has happened because God did something in my heart. HE is the one that I give all the credit too. He convicted our hearts to change and gave us the drive.

God is above all else. Health, finances, food, our home, my family....God is my Everything. He is the One that has gotten me through everything and He is the one that has provided me the resources and tools to achieve this change. He also gave me an amazing better half who fuels our journey and leads our family.

He is so good. Please get a hold of me if you have any questions about how the Love of Jesus can change your life.

A Reflection

 Sometimes someone tells you a lie. It is usually when you are down and out. It is usually someone you are close to. Someone you trust.

  Sometimes you have to make a choice. You can believe the lie. You can choose to walk away from the lie. You can live in it and dwell in it. You can say, "Lord, could this be true?"

  Sometimes you struggle. You wrestle with the lies. "Must I earn love? Maybe I am not good enough? Maybe I am not who I should be?"

  Sometimes you discover the lie is just that...a lie. You see that you are right where God wants you, and even though it may seem hard, it glorifies Him more than where you think you should be. Where others think you should be.

 Sometimes God sets us out on a long path. A difficult path. He asks you to walk it faithfully. The enemy can try to distract us along this road. We have been set there for a reason.

  Sometimes you remember the hard times. You look and see how far you have come. You have overcame because you have Christ. And He never left you. He walked the walk with you. He made you who you are today. You are beautiful and in good health, you are blessed. You have enough and not too much.

 

Thanking God for how far He has brought me over the years. I feel so much healing and joy in my life. Joy that can spill over into loving my family. Thank you, Lord. For loving me enough to bring me through the hard things and shape me into the beautiful creature I am today.

 

Jeremiah 29:11

   For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Embracing My Journey

My God is really great, wonderful, faithful, gracious...

The journey of me finding confidence in Him has been a really long road...and it is still on going...but I feel so much healing and I am so thankful that God doesn't dump a million convictions on our hearts and expect us to do this and that and the other. He loves us, meets us where we are, and layers things when He sees we are ready for them. SO excited about things coming up in our lives and how free I feel.

By this fall I will be a plant based, whole foods eating, homeschooling, domesticated, green-er momma and wifey-all with a smooth cup of fair trade :) I am by no means organized and I am SO okay with that. I am clean and I know where I can find the things I need. I have a huge burden on my heart to be home with my kiddos and devote time to making their foundation solid and healthy. I know each individual is called to different things for Him and for His purpose. I am excited to embrace mine. Thank the Lord for my biggest role model and support, Jamie :) he is wonderful and has played a huge role in who I am today.

Blogging Again

 Yesterday Stacey, my dear friend, and myself were catching up via text and she brought it to my attention that I haven't blogged in a bit and I should be. I have had a lot of things happening this past year and it was a nice break but I agree that it may be time for me to start blogging again. I really do love to process things through writing (or in this case typing) so it may be a good thing for this busy momma! Plus we have a lot of loved ones far away that may like the updates ;)
 Since the last time I blogged the Hager family has gone through a few changes. We are now located in a new home about 20 miles away from our previous location. The five of us live in smaller quarters but have really come to love the home we live in. We have simplified ALOT in doing so.
I love how we are able to live within our financial means though. At first it felt like a big sacrifice because we now have five people living in 850 sq ft! Looking back, I can definitely see God's hand in it all. I needed to take this step to get organized and simplified.
  We now have a 4 year old, a 2 year old, and a 1.5 year old. We really have outgrown baby stage. No cribs, no bottles, no pack n play, no bumbos. It's nuts! All I have done for 4 years is BABIES so it is crazy to think we are moving into a new season. I am doing better with it than I thought I would but sometimes I do see a teeny tiny lil outfit and feel myself getting sentimental.
 Jamie has a full time job which has been such a blessing. I am able to stay at home now and it is such a blessing. It is where I want to be and am really thankful that God has allowed us to have it that way. I know there is sacrifice in staying home with children (financial) and with being at work (time spent away) and for us it has just worked better for me to be at home. I thank God for that constantly.
 Since the last time I have blogged I have also grown in my confidence in my faith and who God has made me to be. I feel the best I ever have and can really see where God is working on me and who He has made me to be.
  Our beloved Meatball passed away and it was so hard for the entire family. We went about four days before I threw my hands up and said "I can't handle the crying. We need another cat." That's when we found Jack and he is perfect for our family. Everyone LOVES him and he is great with the girls.
 Jamie has been doing his artwork, I have been able to stay on worship team. The girls and I are apart of a mommy's group. Jamie bought a bicycle. We sold the truck and now have a little neon. Jamie is on a fixed schedule which is wonderful for family time!
 The biggest change for us has been our diet. We have completely done a turn around with the way we eat and I am going to write about that in our next post because I know a lot of you have noticed and I have been asked a LOT of questions.
 SO hope you enjoy my light rants here and there and feel free to leave comments :)

Leeland-Carried to the Table

Just a Few Songs to Remind Me...

I AM LOVED! Here are some songs that I have listened to lately and just love.


This first song...first time I heard it I just broke down and cried. It's perfect for me



Heard this one yesterday for the first time ever and I just LOVE IT! Could stand to listen to this one a few times a week



Oldie but oh so goodie


I had another Relient K song in mind but found no video for it (I am understood?) so I will put this one here because it's right under it :)


Life is a beautiful mix of humility, growth and embrace. I am excited about my new outlook on myself and that God loves me and thinks I AM worth it.

Untitled

  I was thinking yesterday of the many different phases that I have had in my life. There are so many. Then I think of all the ways I have grown and all the ways I could have failed. I this and I that...but it really comes down to God. He has always been so faithful to me.

I recall times where I have sat in my car crying and crying and just praying that God would be faithful to me because I just didn't know how to find Him or be faithful to Him. I can recall times where I was so hurt and so inside my own reality and just didn't know how loved I could be. I can remember times where I was all alone and didn't know how I would ever find good company and if I was even worth hanging out with. There were times that I felt I had failed everyone and there were times I felt everyone had failed me. There were times where I thought that the world wouldn't notice if I were here or not.

I've had times where I just didn't know if we were going to make ends meet and if things would ever add up. I have had doubts and been humbled and humiliated in front of my dearest friends. Some of those times I have found my dearest friends and couldn't be more thankful.

I can remember times where I felt so much hurt for others that I just didn't know if I could carry all of it. I have seen so much happen around me and realized how broken of a world we are in. Christ just allows me to bleed for others hurts.

There are soooo many "I"s in all of that...but it was God who brought me through. He has redeemed me, made me completely whole. He has brought me out of the darkest and most uncertain times and showed me who He is and how much He loves me. No matter how many people fail me (and certainly everyone fails everyone at one point in their lives) or how many people I fail...how many walk away or how many leave this earth...God is still there. He has provided in every aspect of my life. Relationships, family, health, love, possessions, need and even wants. I have beautiful children and the most incredible husband. I have friends all over the map who would go above and beyond to support me. Best of all, I have Christ and His redeeming Love. I am nothing without Him and I am so thankful that He is the one thing in this world...through all the bad and finite....He is the thing that can never be taken from me.

I am so blessed and so thankful for God's hand in my life.

Truth Can Be Harsh...

I heard a friend speaking truth to someone she loves dearly about how you can never out run the wrath of God... or the love of God. What a powerful statement and something really hard to say to someone you love and you know needs it. Reminded me of good 'ol cash....I'd say he's had his share of running, and his share of Love.

Just Thankful

Sometimes I find myself in situations where things look so fuzzy. In those moments it can be hard to determine where I am with God. That is where prayer comes in.

The last several months have been such a struggle, but every step of the way we just prayed for the Lord's guidance and direction in our lives. Jamie felt that God was calling Him to go back to school and so he applied (while searching for jobs in the meantime.) We had some speed bumps along the way. Fasfa needed him to do this, Sallie Mae needed him to do that; of course all with deadlines. School is starting on the 9th and Jamie still needed to talk to a couple of people about some issues with him getting in. On Tuesday Jamie threw in the towel and said, "I have done everything I can...everything...if I can't get in I can't get in." Wednesday he went and took the compass assessment and yesterday he went to see what they had to tell him. All of his financial aid lined up and he came home with a class schedule and an ID :) He found out that all the funding he needed was available and nothing was coming out of our own pockets. Praise the Lord. I am just so thankful that Jamie has the opportunity to do this.

There were moments we doubted our judgement and just gave it to God, we were willing to walk away if God wanted to close the door...in fact I prayed that He would if this wasn't where we were supposed to be. With no jobs available for Jamie and with an open door I am just praising Him for blessing us and showing us a little bit of direction. Can not wait to see what this year holds for us.

Thanks to everyone for their prayer and support!

And You Thought Christmas Was Over....

 I noticed there are a lot of Christmas carol lines that I could really use ALL year round....not just at Christmas


Little Drummer Boy-


"Little Baby, pa rum pum pum pum
I am a poor boy too, pa rum pum pum pum
I have no gift to bring, pa rum pum pum pum
That's fit to give the King, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,


Shall I play for you, pa rum pum pum pum,
On my drum?"




I love this because it is a good reminder that Jesus came into this world in a STABLE...have you ever been in a stable? Not exactly sanitary. Also He was poor and never had any earthly riches. He was born that way and continued on in His life on earth that way. The song just reminds me that I can play,sing,do,say and be all my best for Him.


O Come O Come, Emmanuel-


O come, O come, Emmanuel
And ransom captive Israel
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.


I love this...the song starts by reminding us that we live in a broken world and until the arrival of Christ we were exiled for God. I have been so aware of just how broken our world is. We are expected to live in a world where materialism is everthing, but we are supposed to live like it isn't.


God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen-


To save us all from Satan's power
When we were gone astray
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy


And then the good news...yes we live in a broken world but there is a way out! Christ came to save us from our own damnation.


And my fav...Oh Holy Night-


O holy night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
Till He appeared and the Soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine, the night when Christ was born;


This song is amazing. Do you ever feel weary? or just worthless...I love the way it talks about finding new worth and rejoicing after feeling for down. Christ has made us complete and loveable. He gives us worth that we can't find anywhere, because He loves us unconditionally and He makes us beautiful. He never fails and is always faithful...even the person we love the most here on earth will do that once, but He never does.


2012 is just around the corner...I have no idea what is going to happen this year, I have no vision of things to come. I don't know if we will even be living in our current home. BUT I do know that God is faithful and He is good even in our broken-ness. That is what I am going to hold onto through the whole year.

Just a Thought or Two

I saw this on a church sign "Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted". It is actually a verse, Matthew 5:4. It just got me thinking...Why would I feel blessed if for some reason I was mourning? I think Jesus is trying to tell us that those who are weary and sad and have to be comforted by the Savior live a happier and more full filling life than those who have everything they need and never encounter Him at all.

Do you think it is possible that when people come to us questioning our Faith and where God is leading us, that maybe, God isn't asking us to look at what is wrong. Maybe He is asking us to be confident in where He has placed us and our relationship with Him? What do you think?

Blessed

I read James 1:2-18 this morning and just really felt encouraged.


Ever since Jamie lost his job (2 weeks ago) I have felt this magnetic pull towards God. We really have no other option but to lean on Him at a time like this, and I feel really close to Him. I feel like through this alot of my Faith has been tested, I'm not questioning my Faith what so ever, more I am just asking God if I am where I need to be. About a week ago I started to really think, "Yes, this IS where God has placed me." It is hard to know why God allows these difficult times, we do live in a broken world so they are bound to happen. Maybe He is pushing us towards a new venture, or helping us to see blessings in a new light.


While we saw that Jamie was losing his job and things were happening in our lives, my friend Stac wrote a blog about how it may be possible that some people today, and even in the church, may feel that you are only blessed when you are entitled to something. She writes "I wonder if, instead of a culture of poverty, low-income families are instead experiencing a lack of a culture of entitlement." Really interesting and it just kind of all has struck me. Maybe I need to be living more as if I am a blessed person, maybe I need to be focusing on all of the other blessings around me and my family instead of what our income is and how we will meet our own worldly needs.


Ever since I have tried taking on this mentality, I have found that commercial things are annoying me and that the hunt for the newest best cell phone is almost a "need" in our society. It's driving me crazy! (If you happen to have the newest, coolest phone on the market...I am not directing this at you! I am just saying that all of this has personally opened my heart and my mind to what I AM blessed with and to view things that are desires just as that and not as needs. This is just my personal journey.)


I thought at first that our jobless, directionless situation was just a big trial. Now I am in the situation...it doesn't feel like a trial at all. It feels good. We have no control over this situation, but I know God does and He is guiding us as we speak. I also feel blessed knowing that we are where He wants us, and I am completely confident of that. And at peace.


James 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.


12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

Epic

We have been going to Crossroads church, about a half an hour away from here. I have really really enjoyed it. Only problem is the same one we always have...one car...Jamie working....driving half an hour away doesn't always fit our schedule. I was actually starting to get bummed out, once again. It is such a great place to be...and when I found that we couldn't go for a couple of months I just got bummed!

My friend, Ray, told me about a friend of hers who was planting a church, literally around the corner from my house. (a 15 minute walk) They are called Epic. While they are not associated with any particular denomination, they have plans to join a group that is involved with Mark Driscoll or a group involved with the general baptist. They went over there core beliefs and values last Sat night at a "practice" service. I took the girls while Jamie was at work and just really soaked up the heart that people are putting into this new congregation. Among the core values they included that they thought it was important to change with culture, making it clear they are not crowd pleasers...but now that communication and the way messages are delivered may change over the course of time due to the change in our culture. I really appreciated this.

They still have a lot up in the air for them and I am not sure how big they will be..but I feel very connected to their efforts and can see our family building into it given the Lord wills it. Jamie still needs to check it out...so he will be going to their next service on the 10th. If he feels called to it I could see this being a place we make our permanent home church. As much as I love crossroads and the people there...I feel like it has just been like pulling teeth to get there. We will see what God brings. Please pray for guidance for us as we decide where we are called.

Around Here...

We have had a great start to our week! Jamie had Monday and Tuesday off! WOO HOO! We spent Monday running a couple of errands and stopped by the pet shop just for Juju...she loves things like that and she could hardly contain herself! I told her maybe we would get her a fish later, as we already have the tank and food. We all took naps and then Jamie made turkey burgers for dinner. Yummmm! The kids went to bed and Jamie and I watched Underworld...which for some reason...I have not watched in YEARS! But I was thinking of it because I have a couple of Twilight bitten friends and they are kind of forcing me to be apart of this fad ;) which left me craving the original non-sparkly kind of vampire that we used to know and love. : ) Barbara...Rachel...I love you and support your sparkly obsession. (The reason I started watching Twilight is because Ray promised to watch Harry Potter in return)

TUESDAY we all got up and lathered up the girls with sun tan lotion and it was off to a day at the pool....unfortunately Jamie and myself thought we had a good enough base tan and have been applying (Jamie more like bathing in) Aloe Vera ever since. BUT the girls are good and it was alot of fun and just something we all needed. We all crashed after lunch and then spent a nice AC filled night with homemade stir fry and some random Pixar selections. Juju's quote for Tuesday (after she spilled water on Jamie's lap) OH NO DADDY! I so sorry...lemme get wipe.. (wipes off Jamie) im a mess! Im so sorry! There you go...(kisses spot where spilled water) allll better!  HAHA that kid cracks me up. She also tells her sissy every single day how pretty/cute she is. I love it!

Today I felt super blessed by the beautiful weather. We went out in the yard at our neighbors, under the shade, and let the kids run around. It was then that I was thinking about how many problems we may have..things that are difficult...but I am blessed with the little things. God has given me the most precious little girls and they just make me incredibly happy. My husband is so good to me and such a great provider and I am madly in love with him. God is good and He gives us good things.

 

Resurfacing Regrets

Sometimes you do things that you regret and when you think you are past it, or you think it is over, it can resurface. It can resurface when you feel like you are living your life for the Lord and that you have overcome these things. How do you deal with past regrets?


My family has some financial regret, things we wish we could change, things we would do differently and now we see where we have consequences for it years later. All of this resurfaced this last week. While I know we dealt with out regret in the best way, and I know that we did everything we could have...it still hurts and is still hard to face this.


When I reflecting on all this I realized sometimes I feel guilty still over past relationships, or the way I lived life in the past. I am noticing that it can be a pattern with me to feel bad or feel lack of closure. I find myself thinking, why was I so stupid and how can I ever make up for that.


This song by Tenth Avenue North is awesome. I have heard it before but just never listened to all the words till the other day and it just broke down all my walls. God is in control and while we have past regrets and present consequences, it does not change the fact that we are forgiven no matter what. It does not change the fact that God loves us and purifies us. We still have to go on through the consequences and deal with it in the right way. I remember my mom telling her friends one time that God hurts when we hurt "You tell your children not to put their hand on a stove, but they do anyway. You told them not to for a reason and now you cry because they cry." It is the perfect metaphor.

You may have regrets that are far more than finances or that other people may think are petty. But to you they are personal and to God they are also. He knows your heart. Just break down your walls and let the healing begin.

Where my heart is

 Since Jamie had to work on Sunday, the girls and myself rode with him and then kept going to church. After church we were able to have a nice afternoon hanging out with B and her family. I love hanging out with her because she played a HUGE part in where I am today and how I look at my faith and God's mercy. We always have thought provoking conversations or just talk about our hilarious kiddos or nerdy husbands.


 Sunday we were talking about God and who He is and how hard it has been for me to come out of a harsh mind set that I was stuck in for years. That conversation got me thinking a lot.


 When I broke out of that mind set, I found it was kind of hard to trust all that I had grown up knowing. (This post is not about my upbringing...my parents are amazing and brought me up in the Word and in God's grace, this post is about my own personal growth)  Things like predestination and baptism and women speaking at the pulpit all became foggy to me. I think for a long time I clung to the "Jesus is my buddy stance".


I believe that Christians are so severely divided right now. Some think that God and Jesus are a being that is full of judgement and justified anger. Forgiveness of sins and rebuilding of our life is the important point with them. Others have the view that Jesus is my buddy and friend and we just need to spread the love and love is really the thing that gets everyone through at the end of the day. I know that when I left that "mindset" I clung to the latter. It was just easy to think of Jesus and God that way and not try to go back and reteach and relearn things. Now that I am becoming older, I can see where both stances are true. God is so much more than we allow Him to be. He isn't in a box...He has qualities of both of these groups plus more!


 God has a justified judgement and anger and He does call us to start a new life and put our past behind us.(For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 6:23) He also knows that we struggle and that we live in a broken world. Because of that, He meets us where we are and realizes that there are times that we are hopeless and need Him. (Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28) He understands we won't always be where we should. He demands love and he demands that we give His love to others. (Luke 6:27“But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you," 1 John 3:18 My children, our love should not be just words and talk; it must be true love, which shows itself in action." 1 John 4:7 Dear friends, let us love one another, because love comes from God. Whoever loves is a child of God and knows God.)


All of these aren't separate factors that should be divided and chosen for yourself. They all tie together and all relate. I am not saying I have it all together, I am not saying I know it all. I actually am starting to see that there are things in the Bible or about God's character that I will NEVER understand, and that is okay. God never said we would know all the answers or understand why He does what He does. Quite honestly, some things about God and His plan are not our business to figure out and are just there so that we can trust in His perfect plan and His perfect will and His perfect character.


 With all of this I am seeing there are some ugly truths in the Bible that are hard to accept and believe. I am working on those things and praying for truth and comfort in God's perfect plan. (Psalm 32:8 "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.") BUT I am also seeing that God is full of mercy and love and that He gives us so much that we really are undeserving of.

 I have been really reflective this week, as Easter approaches and tomorrow is good Friday. I wanted to share these thoughts with you and let you know that if you are in a hopeless place, if you are feeling that there is nothing but darkness and despair for you...than God's arms are waiting to hold you and make your life new. Even if you feel like you have your life together or feel like you really are not in a place that needs saving, I encourage you to reflect and see if there isn't an empty part of you that can be filled with new life. It may be a hard road, it may not always make sense, your life still will be filled with hard times and hurt...but in those moments you will have the Greatest Friend and Mentor that you could ever imagine. He will never fail you.

Finding a Local Family

Jamie and I have gone to Crossroads church in Kokomo a couple of times now. At first I was just taken back with how BIG they are! Not so much how many people...but just everything! This church is really contemporary and really modern. The "Kids Town" is super organized! I was so surprised at how many classrooms, volunteers, and thought went into the kids programming. My kids seem to love there time there. Also the church has a great modern worship band! So energizing....AND they have a cafe where you can get breakfast before the service. They have men's groups, women's groups, family groups, small groups, and so many places to give! I was super overwhelmed after the first time we went...but yesterday I felt refreshed! (After lots of thought and a conversation with my mom) I can definitely see this place as a place my family can find a source of refreshment and a place we can build into. The thing I love the most is that everyone is just real. They are at a hard place in their life and they have needs, but it is like hundreds of people just coming together to praise God and put all of our differences and struggles at the alter and just come together for one common thing, to love and praise God and allow Him to meet us where we stand. I love it! I am excited to see how things unfold and what will happen and am thankful that we have a place to worship and get involved at the moment. The pastor said an interesting thing yesterday... he was introducing a couple who were going to dedicate their baby "These two people could go on and live their faith even without a church, and they would do it, they would live in their faith, but they choose to be apart of this church body and this is where God has placed them." I think that is so true...any of us can live out our faith on our own but there is something about being in a body and sharing and building into that is just so important. I also appreciate that they said...the child is molded by the home, the home by the parents, and the parents by the church.  5 months is too long to feel out of the church loop and I am thankful that this is where God has us. 

Churchy Church

Have I mentioned that I miss Life Community Church? Well I do...to the point that I am comparing our church we are attending now (the one we were married in) to it...and it just isn't making the cut. I don't feel like this church we are in now even comes close to being like LCC. I know that things can't always be the same, I knew that we would be losing a valuable part of our week by moving away from LCC, but that is life. I also knew that coming back to Peru could mean that things could be different from when we first moved here, and it seems that our current church is one of those things. It isn't that they are preaching the wrong things, or their beliefs are screwy. It's just a lack of community for Jamie and myself, not necessarily their fault. Jamie works so much and finding a way to get the girls and I there is just nearly impossible. We had someone offer to ask around at church to pick us up...but no response from anyone. And that is ok. I had a good friend of mine (who goes to a different church) offer to take us there but I think because I haven't even followed through that I am just not feeling it.

 There is a church about a half a mile away from here and I think we may go and visit it....literally half a mile, walking distance. I had to very good friends who went there, Jan and Stephanie. Unfortunately Jan passed away a few years ago, but I remember really enjoying his memorial service and it was in that church. I don't know if Stephanie still goes there, but I figure it's worth a visit. If it doesn't work out I am not sure if we will still pursue our current church or go to another? I really am kind of lost about it, and I don't like being out of Christian fellowship. I guess we'll see what God has in store.