Just Tired

I am just super exhausted...I want to blog...I think about things to blog...I try to REMEMBER things to blog...but really I am just tired and can hardly process half the things that are going on around me :) I can only put so much brain power towards everything right now.

I have 4.5 more weeks until Jovie Christine makes her appearance! Jamie thinks she will come early because of all the braxton hicks I have been having and the other little weird, disabeling things that usually happen the week of my child's birth : )

I have also had lots of random people telling me "maybe it is a boy" which is just strange and makes me a little anxious haha since I have NOTHING boy :) but we will see....Im pretty sure Jovie is in fact a Jovie and not a Jack....I guess we will find out!

Things That Make Me Happy

I needed to do one of these blogs today. I haven't written about a lot lately because, if I'm honest, I am just all messed up emotionally right now. I have never had this problem with my other two pregnancies. I mean yea I have been emo but not like this. I don't think my friends have been taking me seriously about it which is also hard...I don't like how I am feeling as is, I don't want to explain it to people. Pretty much I am just emotional all the time over nothing and it is so overwhelming and just not me. That being said...I have stayed away from emotional topics and every time I sit I to write something I just don't. SOOO that being said...here are things that make me happy.




Train- I love this song. It so fits my husband and I. We took a break for a while when we were dating and he never gave up on me. I love that he still supports all I do and is there for me when I am not well, pregnant, happy, sad, irritable, irritating...he just loves me unconditionally, and I so need that right now. I also love how passionate Pat Monahan is when he sings this, I feel like that's how Jamie is about me...just really loves me.





My kids- I love them so much! They are just amazing and make me laugh. I love the relationship they have...always giggling at each other and playing and hugging and kissing.

Attack Hug!!!

Jovie- She'll be here so soon and I can't wait to me her!

Meatball!!!

Ozzie : ) of course!

There are a couple of fiction stories that I can just watch/play over and over

My fam-a-lam!

Some other fun things

And of course my one and only

Potty Training, Ninja Number 3 and the Quest for Veggies

Just a little bit about what going on around here : )


Jubilee is pretty much potty trained! I am so excited because it hardly took her a week to get the hang of it and she is just a pro now! I should have started her earlier, she was just toooo smart for me, such a manipulative little girl ; ) How did I achieve potty training in a week? Well, I skipped training pants and diapers that's how..this is the little girl who doesn't like being dirty. As soon as she figured out that her nickers didn't hold anything...she gave in and has been a success ever since : ) AND as her reward Dad bought her her very own frosty and Grandma bought her panties : ) AHHH I see a light at the end of the potty training tunnel.

Baby number 3 is actually a ninja...I am pretty sure of it! (Just like her sisters.) She is moving EVERYWHERE! And enough that Jamie can see it from a distance! I have gained soooo much weight as well. I have already gained 20 lbs! Considering I only lost half of my weight from Justice...this is looking a little grim for me! And even Dr. Murray called me out on it! So no more cake for me and a little more physical activity! I am TRYING to hard but it is just so hot and I feel like a blob. Last night Jamie and I took the girls on a mile walk and I didn't eat anything sugary. One day down...14 weeks to go!

Our veggie pursuit is going fairly well, but as you can see I must be making up for the lack of meat with bready, carby, sugary goodness. We had our first burger in a month at a cookout the other day and it tasted really good. Still...I don't find myself missing it at home. I am pretty content with the things we come up with. It's been a little difficult trying to feed Juju....she hates veggies. A lot of them I just put in our little chopper and make it so small she can't pick it off...she does well that way. Also I learned she likes celery, which I didn't expect because she HATES the texture of lettuce.

Justice is nearly walking, she can stand on her own but gets freaked out most of the time. She has 4 teeth and is waving and pointing and shrugging her shoulders, so cute! I also love when she gets irritated or bugged, she puts both of her hands behind her head and bows her elbows out...it is just hilarious, I'll see if I can capture a picture!

I love that Jubilee and Justice are the best of buds, they love being around each other and on the same napping schedule. Just adorable how much they love each other, hugs and kisses to each other melt my heart.

Jamie is still searching for a job, we are just praying, that's all we can do. He has had loooots of art projects though so that has kept him pretty occupied.

I think that's all over here!

Baby Number 3

Just found out today that baby number 3 is a girl! We are excited! I just needed to give this kid an identity, I am all about names and meanings and Jamie wouldn't even TALK about it until we found out. Sooo now Jovi Christine (I may change the spelling from Jovi to Jovie....but Jamie would disagree haha not sure how far I will push it ) has a name and all I need now is a color for her blankie...Juju's is pink, Jusi's purple....debating on teal or light green at the moment, maybe fuchsia? ANYWAY We are stoked. Jovi is built off of Jo as in my Aunt Amy Jo : ) and it means Joyful. Christine means follower of Christ. I love it.

Juju got her own little pic of the ultrasound and asked us if it was a monster or a dog. Oh my... : )

Pregnancy

Looks like this week I am going on week 15 of pregnancy! Which means only 25 to go! Wow...blows my mind!

We have a great place we are delivering! Logansport Memorial Hospital, I used to work there and so it was kind of nice to be back in the facility and I just feel comfortable because I know they are such a good hospital. I loved how they sat with me and told me everything from finances to bed side manor. I also love my doctor...Dr. Murray...I haven't ever had a male physician (Well I did...but his midwives did everything) and I was a little nervous but he is awesome!

He actually walked into the room a little late because of an emergency surgery. I wasn't  upset because I know these things happen...and me of all people, I have had two csections! So he comes in and starts apologizing...I was just taken back. My previous Dr/ midwives would have never apologized over something like that. So I guess I just thought every doctor thought of themselves above others/didn't need to explain their actions. Quite honestly I don't think they need to either...but it was nice. I go in a couple of weeks for another check up.

Another thing that is nice about the hospital is that my good friend, Keisha, works there. She and I have been friends for about 4 years, met each other at the hospital on night shift...she still works there but in another department and during day shift. Since we live about a half hour from each other, I made my appointment super early and we met up for a minute in the cafe` and chatted. It's great!

Cravings so far are: Subway (I want it everyday but have only had it once) Chai, unsweetened tea, donuts and green bean casserole. HAH random ...I know. I have also found that if I do not constantly have a drink by my side I get groggy and my tummy hurts and even get a headache...this kid really likes their beverages!

I have been trying to walk everyday but sometimes it rains and I don't..haha BUT I am trying. I already have a small bump but no swelling. (Doubt that will continue through the summer though)

AND I should be able to find out the gender by the middle of June : )

Pregger Blahs

So the "pregger blahs" have set in and I find myself feeling very unmotivated about 75% of the day. I am trying my best because I want to spend lots of time with my girls and not miss out on them right now. I know this time shall pass and the second trimester will be here sooner than I think...Jamie calls that trimester the sexy trimester....because your pregger glow sets in and you have all this amazing energy and you just feel good. I should ask him what he calls this trimester? : ) I am getting super duper excited about a third child and feel really really blessed. I keep thinking it is a boy but that may be because I don't know what to name another girl or that I am hoping or something. OF COURSE if we have a girl it will be more than fine. I will definitely be in my comfort zone with a girl...I don't know how to take care of a boy! : )

The weather was so nice the other day...I wish it would shoot back up into the late 50's...we sat out on a blanket and just looooved the sunshine. It was great. I think if it would get warm again that could help. I am also trying to walk and I would prefer to do it outside with the girls. So get out here sunshine...

ALSO I got proactiv today, courtesy of my loving parents...that could help with the blahs too....we shall see!

SO if I don't blog as much it is just because I am using what energy I have to do things like dishes and cleaning.

Expecting the Unexpected

Jamie and I found out life changing news on Tues...we are going to have our third child!

Maybe its not too much of a life changing event as we have a 6 month old and a 2 year old...but it will change our family.

I have been feeling weird this week, not because I am not excited about baby number three, I think all babies are a blessing and I am super happy that God would allow us to have and raise a third child. I have wanted a third child our entire marriage, even before I had Jubilee, so of course it is amazing! I just did not expect it to be so soon! So I was feeling weird about getting pregnancy clothes out again, and looking like a blob that everyone calls "cute" and having moments where I am unmotivated.

I have been thinking about it and this pregnancy just needs to be different than my others. I have two children who are depending on me...so I have to stay motivated and not want to be lazy every single day. I have have have to be productive. Also I have to keep weight off. I know that is a funny thing to say about being pregnant, but the last baby put me fifty lbs heavier than my starting weight....and I only lost half of that. I need to keep as much as I can off because I don't want to go any higher than my last weight...that is the heaviest I have been. It would be a health issue. I am going to walk everyday and try to eat good calories. Please pray for me, I have already gained three lbs...and I am sure it is because of hormones and stuff...but I am praying it stops there. Please pray for my good health and eating habits, for the baby's health and for the energy I need to give my family what it needs.

It is so strange that my baby, wont be the baby...it seems like yesterday Juju was the baby...oh wait...that's coz she is a toddler (yea I know...you can laugh....there will be three months out of the year they line up in age... 123....9 10 11....15 16 17....God have mercy on us)

ANYWHO so it is the process of pregnancy I am dreading...which isn't like me...so I gotta snap out of it and know that God is in control.

Not Ideal....

*There may be some emotional moments in this posting, or things that make you say...uhm no thank you....to having kids. You have been warned! ; ) *

SO the weekend before Justice came, Jamie and I decided we needed to take Jubilee on an outing...kind of a last time being just the three of us and just giving her attention before her new Sissy came. We took Juju to Lamb's Farm...a place that really pulls at my heart strings. Lamb's Farm is a place that employs and supports individuals with disabilities. Juju had so much fun! They have a petting zoo, putt putt, train ride, bakery, pet store, and cafe.....which brings me to the beginning of a nightmare.

We decided to eat at the cafe for lunch...and Jamie and myself woke up the next morning both sick as dogs....food poisoning. Yuck. We stuck Juju in her high chair in front of the TV with food and cartoons and we both slept in our recliners until my parents came. Around 8 or 9 Jamie was finally able to keep some Gatorade down...unfortunately I did not keep anything down, which sent me into labor at 1 in the morning. SO hardly even visiting with my parents we left Jubilee with them and went to the ER where I was admitted for 8 hours. Even after two bags of IV fluids I was still dehydrated but labor had subsided (apparently dehydration can send a pregnant lady into labor.) They allowed me to go home for a day. Literally 24 hours. Then back to the hospital.

I had a hard time in prep for surgery. I didn't like the spinal they gave me to numb me and i definitely didn't like that fact that I couldn't move once I had it. Last time when I had my epidural Jamie was right there but this time it was just me in the OR. Freaky. I tried to be really strong but I'm just not that strong of a person. I remember just laying on the table trying with all my might not to freak out and tears just running down my cheeks. Jamie FINALLY came in after what felt like a life time. I don't know what I would have done without him...what would I do without being able to draw strength and courage from him? I found myself telling him I didn't know if I could ever do this again. I don't know why I was so scared this time compared to last time.

Surgery took about an hour and I finally heard Justice's little voice. It was hard being able to see her but not be able to hold her. She was so swollen and puffy. Jamie's eyes got red as he held her and I could tell he was getting choked up. They took her to the nursery assuring me I would see her right after recovery.

Recovery hour came and we went and a couple more hours passed and by this time I was pretty much telling my nurses to GET MY KID! I can't tell you the feeling I felt when I was finally able to hold her. I didn't really know what to expect because this entire pregnancy has been so surreal to me. But Justice=bliss...she is amazing.

As soon as she came I called my parents SOOOO excited that they would finally be able to come and see her, only to find out that my Mom was sick and wouldn't be able to come that night. I was devastated but decided it would be OK and tomorrow would be better. Unfortunately the next day (Tues) my Dad was sick. So they came for an hour that evening...just to look at her and unable to hold her. My parents left that night and that was the last I saw them before they went home. They were unable to hold Justice and I wasn't even able to hug or kiss my dad goodbye. I have tears in my eyes every time I think about it. (In fact I am crying right now re-living this stuff).

I know things could have been a lot worse....I am so thankful because my baby girl and myself are good and we are healthy. But it is so hard that no one has really wanted/or have been able to come see us. His Dad and Brother have a lot going on, his mom is in Alabama and my Brother is in Korea....I don't really expect many others to come and see us. So it makes me upset that the two people who were able to come/ made such a huge effort to come....were hardly able to see us or Justice. The upside is that they spent LOTS AND LOTS of time with Jubilee and I know that was precious to them. Thankfully my good friend Rachel came for a couple of days and that helped for sure. I miss my parents though and just can't wait for November to get here so I can see them and my brother.

Sometimes I get lonely out here in the burbs....especially with one vehicle and limited friends in the area. I know tomorrow is going to be a hard day (Jamie starts his new job). BUT I am going to try my very hardest to stay focused on all the positive tomorrow. Two amazing little girls, an amazing husband, a wonderful church family, a van : ), jobs, shelter, food, health....we really are blessed. I just need to keep all of that in mind when I feel so far away from the ones I love.

The Perfect Bouquet

Especially for this pregger! I was so surprised when Jamie brought this home to me! Totally made my week! He had them cut my fav fruit into a heart

So pretty and yummy! And unlike reg flowers I dont have to watch them rot....I get to eat them : ) haha

Preggerzilla!

I was talking to my hubby about how massive I am and he said "yea, but its all cuteness" : ) Here is me and my makeup-less tired self.... but I love his determined kiss See that look on my face...yea I am huge, pretty much

Here is Justice Mae (oh yea we changed her name LOL) at 17 weeks, 27 weeks, and 37 weeks...I thought I was large at 17!

RAWR! Watch out! The Preggerzilla is gonna getcha!

The End of My Rope

I am so pregnant....I mean I know I have been pregnant lol but I am SO at the end of this. Everything I do I have to psych myself up... "Jean, just bend over and pick up the heath bar wrapper that you dropped...it will just take a few seconds" or "Ok Jean...its not THAT hard to open the dish washer and put stuff away...is it?" I know these things sound soooo silly....but I am super exhausted and have no energy. I feel like as soon as I clean Jubilee pulls everything back out anyway and I am back to square one. Also...I am to that sleeping point...where I can try and sleep but I have to move every half hour and I wake up feeling completely unrested. Hips....oh man...they are the worst. At least the ribs aren't an issue anymore : )

Yesterday the heat was the WORST! I drove Jamie to work (our truck has no AC) and dropped him off....by the time I got to my Dr. appointment I was so upset and hot and just mad. The CNA asked me how I was feeling and I started crying....its just too damn hot for this pregnant lady. At least we got the csection shceduled! August 30th, which is a Monday and which is what I prayed for. Thanks Lord : )

I know all of this jibber jabber seems rediculous...but I am just through! I would love to get this place spotless and go out shopping or something...but my body is just done. Doesn't want to do anything but sleep eat and veg in my recliner.

It has also been hard adjusting to being a stay a home mommy again because I am here for long hours on end with Jubilee (who I LOVE hanging out with by the way) but sometimes I just miss having adult time. I have all the time in the world and forget that all my friends have lives and things to do...while I just sit around and wait. Sounds selfish I know...but it is just how I feel.

Oh Lord please help me find some encouragement somewhere.

How Im Feelin'

UGH I have gotten to the point where when I dont feel good I reallly reallllly dont feel good.

My ribs are killing me as well as my hips. BUT I am thankful back pains have been avoided unlike last pregnancy....it was bad last time around!

All I think about is food and sleep and I look awful. Correction: I look awful and dont care because I would rather look like sloppy white trash and be comfortable : )

LOL

6.5 more weeks....

Top 20 tips/facts about being pregnant

Stac made a top 20 and I liked it so here is mine....her's, of course, was not about being pregnant but I figured this is a part of my life right now so why not : )


1. It is ok to be fat. In fact this is the only time in life that I feel I SHOULD be fat. Im embracing it. So if you here me say...Im fat....dont correct me, just know that it is true and I am ok with it.
2. Your feet and ankles WILL swell. It's inevitable...might as well laugh at it!
3. Eat whatever you want...seriously...even if it is just a little of what you want....if you dont you will just be a grouch until you get it.
4. Now isn't the time to diet....see above
5. Pregnancy rage is BOUND to happen...mine unfortunatley....always happens at my husband and involves a pretty sharp (if not screaming) tone of voice and possibly cussing. Hopefully yours is as understanding as mine.
6. You will cry...at random...for no reason. Girls do this anyway I know...but when you are pregnant if is even more crying...more random...and for even less of a reason than before.
7. Do things that are convenient for you...cut your hair, dont wear makeup....just be as comfortable as possible! Who cares if you are living in yoga pants!
8. Random cravings can and will happen. You will be brushing your hair and think....man....swedish fish sound really good right now! And so do Potato Stix!
9. Its ok to sleep 14 hours a day....now not all of us have the time to do that....I did with my first and it was great. Dont feel guilty!
10. You will get charlie horses
11. You will get heartburn
12. You will get gas
13. You will throw up
14. You will get dizzy
15. You may even faint
16. Pregnancy is not a beautiful thing....the making of a baby may be...and the baby itself may be...but the the inbetween is not...see 10-15
17. You can go from happy to sad to mad to indifferent within moments...usually this has something to do with food or lack of
18. You start out eating hardly anything from being sick...to eating lots and lots of food all the time....to back to eating hardly anything because your baby is so fat.
19. You will be asked the same questions one million times before you have the child ...whats the name, when are you due, is it a girl, is a boy,etc....learn to grin and bear it now...or pretend you dont hear them
20. Dont be discouraged...ever! You are giving up your body and self to bring a child into the world and even though the process may be horrific and mortifying at times....the outcome truely is spectacular!

*warning*

*warning* If you are an extremely sensitive person and take too much heart please read disclaimer at the bottom of this entry BEFORE reading the rest of this blog.


I am completely obsessed with going into labor! I cannot stop thinking about it! All I want to do is deliver this child! I feel like I have gone completely insane! I am constantly thinking "Will it be now? How about tonight? What was that little ache? What was that little pain? IS SHE COMING OR WHAT?!?!?!) I know I am still 8 days away from my due date...anything can happen! It could be now, right on my due date, or they might have to induce me because my little butterball turkey has decided she is more comforable in my belly! She has got to be close to 8.5 lbs by now, what more could she need to do in there?!?! She is just putting on layers and kicking me in the ribs...she can put on layers out here and kick me in the face for all I care!! I JUST WANT HER OUT! ** To make matters worse...for some reason every single person you encounter has to say some little comment to you as if you have never heard it or even want to hear it. " When are you due? OH that is so soon! Could be any day now..." Thank you so much I didn't know that. "Is it a boy or a girl? What is the name? Oh that is interesting/nice/pretty." Thank you, I will sleep better now knowing that you like it. Then you have the people who think for some reason you want to hear the WORST experience they know of. "My daughter in law was in labor for 48 hours" "I know of a girl who had trouble because her baby's feet got caught in her rib cage" "You know, it could be a whole month after your due date that you go into labor" Well thank you so much for sharing...I am going to go home and cry now. And then of course you have your advice givers. "Get all the rest you can now" "You shouldn't be working anymore! You need to stay at home and rest" (which I am not working anymore just to let you know) "If you want her to come faster you should walk more" "Dont eat spicy food, drink caffiene, blah blah blah" You are the only person who has told me that this entire 9 months! I know that every single person who has said something to me or commented or given me common knowledge advice is just doing it because they are just genuinly interested in my life. I just want my identity back...the only thing people know me for right now is the pregnant lady...so for some reason that is all they talk to me about. I appreciate that everyone cares and all that mess....but I am just ready to be Jean again...not pregger Jean. Am I crazy? Is this normal to be feeling all of this?!?


**Disclaimer: the previous comments and opinions are those of an insane pregnant lady. Any sarcastic comments may or may not be slightly true. This blog was written so that everyone could get a good laugh...none of the following comments should be taken personally or with seriousness as I am a basket case.

After thoughts

SO... I was thinking about Mary...Jesus' mother...and I was really really really thinking about everything she went through. Being 8 months pregnant is NOT fun...can you imagine riding on a donkey? I cant because I cant even sit in the car that long without freaking out...or even the couch for that matter. AND THEN when she gets to the place she needs to be there is no stay in the inn...and they offer her a BARN! Even if the barn had been cleaned out of all the nasty animal dung...it would still smell! Then her water breaks and she is thinking "You have got to be kidding me!" I would NOT want to deliver my child in the nasty dirty stench of an unsanitized BARN! (let alone the Savior of the world!) and then to top it all off they stick him in a feeding troth because they dont have anything else. I wonder how grumpy she must have been...I know I would have been throwing a fit! Just crazy how much humiliation went into something so glorious. I dont ever think about those details enough because I have heard them so many times...but Jesus humiliated Himself right from the start of His earthly stay.

*jeopardy theme*

I feel like I am just WAITING! I just want to have her now and be on with it! I am not sure I can wait another two weeks or so! This weekend was a tease all weekend...I had false labor, cramping, back pain...ARGH! I just wanted my water to break so I could be like "uhm I am for sure supposed to go to the hospital now" lol. I dont like the way everything feels and I would rather only experience all of this for a couple more days. What makes matters worse is I am getting bored so it doesnt help the insanity! I am the type of person who likes to have a plan for everything. I want to know what is going on throughout my day and I like to plan everything out...this I have no choice but to just go with it! Lord, please show this impatient girl some mercy! ; )

New Aches

Well my achey ribs finally went away...and now we have moved on to hips. Oh my goodness! Talk about pain...I have never felt this kind of pain let alone in my hips before. It kept me up a little on Saturday night but last night was the worst! I think I woke up every hour and just couldn't find the right way to lay. This is just craziness! : ) SO Jamie and I were thinking...if rib pain is gone and hip pain is entering the picture...perhaps she is moving down???? : ) lol Only 6 more weeks and 5 more days until my supposed due date!!!!

You know you're jealous

My legs keep cramping, my eyes are blurry, my head aches, my ribs are bruised, my back and neck are stiff, and I know I didn't get a very rested night of sleep. I have no motivation to do anything let alone work 12 hours between today and tomorrow. I miss my family and wish Jamie was home. I am cranky and sleepy and ready to take up permanent residence in my pajamas...at least until next year ; )

SO that sums me up...how are you doing today?