I run, I Walk

 I haven't jogged in two months. I sustained a minor bruise in my heel and it was bad enough that I needed to take a break. That, along with traveling through 7 states in 2 weeks, my grandfather's death, trying to maintain diet and homeschooling, and some personal things going on- it's been far away from my brain.  

Tonight I went out in the cold and a lite dusting of snow and I jogged. I only made it 15 minutes with about 11 of that being jogging. BUT it was much needed and it felt good. 

Jogging is great for me because I am able to do whatever I want to do. I can walk. I can stop. I can push for more. I can think, breath, cry, laugh, pray, smile. All at my own pace. I really missed all of that and so many emotions came flooding to me in the 15 mins I was out. 

 My break and injury in jogging can easily be compared to my emotional state right now. My injury sideswiped me and left me feeling repressed and frustrated in a time I could have used an outlet. I pushed really hard this summer, by God's grace, to do things that were hard and uncomfortable. Physically and emotionally. Take jogging for example. I shouldn't be a jogger. I have a bum knee, flat feet, I'm overweight, I have three children, and I am usually a short term project kind of gal. For some reason I have pushed to keep this in my life and to meet goals and to be active even when it's hard. The same goes with some things emotionally. All of the sudden, these things I had worked really hard at were put on hold. I could kind of feel my identity and my confidence fading. Add my grandfather passing on top of it and a super disorganized home a schedule. All of it happened at once. Left me reeling. Thankfully, God is good. He keeps my attention everyday and brings me back to my greater purpose- being Christ to others and raising up little girls who love Him and love others.  Even when there is a bump in the road, an injury, a few pounds gained, a messed up schedule, a less then perfect home, and a personal wound- I. Am. His. Nothing steals that away. He created me to do hard things. He also gives me grace. The last two months it was okay to take a break. To grieve over different losses. To try to find a new normal and to rest in the hands of my God. I hear Him whisper to me that it is time to stand up. Do the hard stuff. It might be cold and dark out but it's time to jog again. Time for me to Walk again. 

This post is personal to me but I really felt like I needed to share it. I am still learning how to be this healthier version of myself and how to fit it in. I'm excited for a new season of getting back to who I am created to be. I'll keep ya posted!

Amateur jogging

There's Last year I started jogging. It really is kind of unbelievable that I did. I have always had trouble with my knees and have been called "Forrest" more than once. Also I was larger than I am now. I would see people jog and I just wanted that feeling. I hear people say you get a high from it. I just needed to find out. So I started by walking and jogging a little bit. I was so unhealthy that I only made it four houses away from my own,walked to the corner and back. I am not kidding. I just did that until I built up. I even took a break when I moved and then it got cold. Yadda yadda. All that to say... I am no expert. Today I jogged half a mile in 9 minutes. Not what I call impressive. But hey! I jogged a half a mile straight as opposed to four houses. So here are my,unprofessional thoughts on jogging. 

-to start buy whatever you need. I needed a knee brace and jogging shoes and the appropriate undergarment.  I paid 30 for my first pair of shoes and they lasted a bit because I really wasn't going long distances. I used old tshirts and shorts at first. 

-I decided right off the bat that I did not care what anyone thought of me. I was out there doing the hard work and I didn't care who thought I looked silly. I was gonna do it!

-I was ok with doing a little and improving a little at a time. I didn't want to burn myself out. Rather I wanted to build up. 

-I listened to music I loved and tried to switch up the scenery when I could. Switching up music and scenery kind of help distract. 

-stretch. Stretch till you can't stretch anymore. Seriously helps. The more you do it the better. 

That's it! And here are the reason I still do it/love it

* I have time for me and my own thoughts. I rarely get to listen to my music. Just a great time to process/relieve stress. 

* I feel wonderful when I do it

* I like to catch people off gaurd by saying hi to every single person I can. Lol sounds funny but it's true. I'm a people watcher

* I feel like I am setting some sort of example for my girls. 

* there's something really satisfying from doing something that you thought you couldn't. 

When I give up here are things that motivate me

-I think about how I had to take the time to stretch and get my butt dressed and ready to be out here. Might as well keep going

-I have a certain song that means a lot to me and I have to run through the whole song. I always have my music on shuffle and it seems to come on every time I want to stop. 

-I just walk it off for a min. I tell myself even if I walk the rest of the time I still ran. Usually I am fine in a minute or so and can get right back into it

-I don't stop running until at least my first 5 mins. I think the first 3 are my hardest to get through. 

There ya have it. Nothing special. Just how I am doing what I am doing.