My Superman

Today I was listening to Neyo's "Never knew I needed" song (which is at the end of Princess and the Frog, which I, I mean, Juju has watched like 10 times in the last two weeks) and I was thinking about Jamie. I know that the song doesn't really tell our story...but there are parts of it that definitely fit us. I like how he says "For the way you changed my plans, For being the perfect distraction". THAT is my Jamie. SO anyway I was thinking about it and realized I haven't really written about our story and decided I would. I AM a hopeless romantic so I am a little surprised it has taken me this long to sit down and put it in words. :) Just a warning: this is a little long, kinda cheesy, and very personal too me.



Jamie and I actually have known each other for nearly eleven years now. I met him in high school and we sat at the same lunch table freshman year. We had several mutual friends and that's how, I would say, we stayed friends through the years. We probably had a class together once or twice a year. I remember asking him to go to the movies with me Junior year but he was busy with work. I remember telling Marianna how sweet I thought he was and it would be fun to hang out with him. After he said he had work, I didn't really get the nerve back to ask again. Senior year we had an art class together and it was SO fun! Jamie, Tom, Krista, Breanne, Nixon...we all sat together and I just recall Jamie and I always flirting. I, once again, suggested we go get some Chinese or hang out. Jamie said he had work. WELL Last day of school Tom made him go with me by suggesting a group event. By this time I wasn't as interested because I had started dating another guy and Jamie hadn't shown any interest in me.



I didn't see much of Jamie after that. I would say hi to him at radioshack or when I ran into him at the mall. He had a girlfriend and I had my boyfriend so there wasn't a whole lot of interaction. About a year after graduation we started chatting online. I still didn't see him much but I remember always looking forward to talking to him about silly things like music or homestarrunner. He would send me clips of his art or a cool song and I would talk to him about all of my guy problems.



At this point in time the guy I had obsessed over for so many years and had finally found a relationship with had turned into a complete nightmare that I wasn't willing to try to get out of. At the time I didn't think that anyone else could ever "love" me, so I stayed in a very bad relationship where I was afraid to communicate and was constantly torn down for the things that I did, said, and wore.



I remember Jamie saying "are you happy?" and I would lie about my relationship and say yes...his was response was always the same "good, you deserve to be happy".



One day I was hanging out with my friend...lets call her Kelly... We were on our way to Walmart to get some snacks and look around (small town kids have nothing better to do at 1 o'clock in the morning than go to walmart or Starbucks.) We were talking about random stuff and I said "So I talked to Jamie last night. Ya know, he is such a sweetie if I wasn't with xxxxx then I would probably ask him on a date again. Seriously! He is like the sweetest guy on earth." We went into walmart and grabbed some goodies. I was heading down the CD aisle with a bag of sour cream and cheddar ruffles when I saw Jamie! He was with Tom and Kenny. I gave them all hugs and was surprised when Jamie told me that the bag of chips he was holding were his favorite. "Mine too!" I replied, thinking "I was just talking about this kid!". We all stood around talking and I left with a smile on my face and Kelly left with Jamie's email address.



Kelly and Jamie started dating soon after. Since Kelly and myself were inseparable, I found myself starting to build a good friendship with Jamie. It was nice having him around. Even when Kelly and him stopped dating we all continued to hang out and go places together. Taco bell, starbucks, walmart, Chinese, the park. We were all the best of buds.



One day I showed up at Kelly's sobbing. I had gotten in a fight with the guy I thought I loved. She called Jamie and we all went to a haunted corn maze and taco bell to get my mind off of things. I remember Jamie hugged me at Taco Bell and swung me around and I just felt so comforted in his arms. He just...made me melt. I knew I had been repressing feelings for him for a while at that point...but it was getting harder and harder. If this friend could treat me so good...why were things so bad with the one I was supposedly in love with? And why is it that Jamie made me weak in the knees every time he looked at me....but I couldn't even look this other guy in the eye. Jamie called me "Beautiful" and loved my random Star Wars knowledge, and the person I was "in love with" told me to lose weight, wear my hair a certain way, and hated my favorite movies. I was feeling so confused.



I tried to hold on to my relationship for a couple more months. Christmas was around the corner after all and I had hopes of a proposal (as if that would just fix everything....Lord, thank you for intervening). Christmas came and went....and with it no ring. Then New Years....I realized that I was talking to and seeing Jamie more than this other guy. It was time to do something. I told my boyfriend that I needed a break....this wasn't anything new... he needed a break from me all the time. But this time I told him I didn't want to see him for a good month or so. We could go on a date after that and see what we had decided but until then I didn't want much to do with him at all.



The day before our date, Jamie and Kelly and myself were all hanging out. We were just chillin' as we normally did...watching tv or playing nintendo (OLD SCHOOL!) I noticed that Kelly was being pretty clingy. In fact....she was playing with Jamie's ears and kissing on him. I felt a little bit of jealousy come over me. They had dated before...but they weren't now...so what the heck was this?! I found myself saying to Jamie what I was actually thinking... "Well where is my kiss?" (Seriously this was way out of my box...and even thinking of this now I can't believe I actually said that.) Jamie looked at me shocked...and so did Kelly. Heck I am sure I looked a little shocked. and then. I kissed him. I thought it was going to be a funny little joke we would laugh about. But instead, it changed my life. When I pulled away from kissing him, Kelly announced she needed a diet Pepsi and went to go find one. Jamie and I just looked at each other. He walked me to my car, under a full moon, and gave me a hug and told me to have a good night.



The next day I knew what needed to be done. I went to dinner with the man I thought I loved and told him that was our last date. It was over. In my mind I knew there were way too many strong feelings behind that small kiss with Jamie...and that my heart didn't belong to xxxxx anymore. It was being magnetized to Jamie.



The next month Jamie and I talked more and more. Chatting online, texting, phone, hanging out. One day he asked me why I had ended my bad relationship. I told him I knew I needed to be out of the relationship because it was mentally killing me. He then asked me if there was more to it. I remember saying "Jamie, I can't hurt you. I need time to figure out what I am thinking. I need time to heal. And you are just a wonderful person, I can't risk hurting you." When he told me "I know, I couldn't ever hurt you either..." I knew that there was something unsaid going on with both of us.



We started hanging out once a week. He would pick me up on his day off and we would go and get chinese buffet. I started looking for ways to talk to him everyday...if not hang out with him. Some days he got to me before I could ask. I'd look down at a text to see "Up for some family guy?" and my heart would just flutter. One night I sent a text to him and Kelly that said "I love you, thanks for being there for me." thinking "If I send one to Kelly it won't look as serious." Wrong. I remember sitting at steak and shake with Marianna and getting a text from Jamie that said "You really mean that...don't you." It wasn't uncommon for me to say love ya...or express some kind of affectionate emotion to him so I was a little startled by his comment. Because I did mean it. Could this be possible? To be so taken, comforted, and in love with a guy I wasn't even dating?! We text each other the entire night...kind of beating around the bush about feelings. Marianna and I had wandered over to Walmart when my phone beeped. I looked down and read "Ok, I'll say it. I love you, too." and simultaneously heard over the radio Jewel singing "Do you love me like I love you, or am I standing still."



We saw each other the next five days and then had a heart to heart on the sixth day. I found out the day I had come into art class showing off the picture of me and my new boyfriend, Jamie was going to ask me to dinner but didn't because of my news. Also the night that we kissed he had gotten in his car and heard "Moonlight Sonata" play and told me that's how he felt walking me to my car under the full moon. He told me that all the times he had asked me if I was happy he had wished that it was him I was saying I was happy about. He also told me how beautiful I was and I didn't even know it. The entire conversation was magic.



After that we were inseparable. We had to see each other almost everyday and when we weren't hanging out we were texting each other. Someone asked Jamie one day if I was his girlfriend and he said "yes, this is Jean" and I remember being more than happy about it. That's pretty much it! My love story that I could have never guessed. He was the best thing that I never knew I needed...right in front of my face the whole time.



Looking back on that time makes me so happy. I was a very lost, hurt person before Jamie became my Superman. I couldn't believe that anyone could treat me so well and really love me for just being a nerdy, star wars, tshirt and jeans kinda gal.



Now here we are...two cats, two girls, and five and a half years later.



Fun Facts: *We played Moonlight Sonata at our wedding* *Jubilee was born 4 years to the date after our first kiss**I found a list of things I wanted in a guy that I wrote in high school after Jamie and I were married...it fit him to a tee* *Jamie and I have our own Star Wars duel and light sabers* *Every time we see a bag of sour cream and cheddar chips we give each other a certain smirk*