Words

I wish people's words did not affect me. Unfortunately I have always been this way. It used to be really bad where I worried what EVERYONE thought about me. I do admit I still am bad about it, but that had to change when I became a mother. I can't very well be worrying about what everyone thinks...that could affect the way I raise my children and also the way I react to the things they go through and their behavior. No. I definately have changed in that area. I am not afraid to speak up especially when it comes to my daughter and I generally dont care what people think of me because I know I am doing my best and my kid is pretty well behaved.

But every once in a while...there is just someone who knows how to say the right thing. Makes you feel so little. I know what was said to me is not true and I know I took it way to much to heart. But I think I get upset about things like this because I am a people pleaser...and there are just some people out there that it doesn't matter how hard you try they will still be hateful and decietful and just full of ugliness.

Right now with this situation I keep thinking...did I do anything wrong. And I didn't. So why do I care...especially when this person could care less if I drop dead. Then part of me thinks...retaliate...tell them how you feel about them make them feel just as big. I have never been that person though. Kill them with kindness? I lose either way because even that is said to be two faced.

I wish I didn't question my character.

I am being so vague right now...and I appologize. Just needed to get this off my chest and try to sleep.