Finding My Cushion in God

God is a good God, and I trust Him. Sometimes it is really hard to trust Him, maybe not trust Him, but find Hope. I feel like Hope is hard to find right now. I am going to be pretty real in this post. Jamie and I went several weeks ago to have our taxes done. We were told we were getting around 7000 back. You can imagine how excited we were...the thought of stability and savings, catching up on bills, health care, a will and life insurance...we had all kinds of plans for this lump sum. The weeks came by and no check...yesterday I received a letter in the mail saying the U.S. Department of Treasury had taken nearly all of it for Jamie's student loans. It's fair, he owed them, it was there money, they took it. It also really sucks. I find myself disturbed at how upset I am over the loss of money. The Bible says Those who seek the Lord lack no good thing. (Psalm 34:10b)   I feel like we seek out the Lord and His will for nearly everything. Why do we as a community put so much emphasis on money. I was going to rely on that cushion, instead of allowing God to be my cushion. Here I am back to square one. I don't know if that is why this happened, to allow me to learn something, or to see how I would react. I mean we had great plans...we were going to pay some small debts, give to the church, get things we felt we actually needed. All of it came to a halt and I just find myself...empty. I am even reduced to selling some things just so we can make it this month. Humility seems to be a theme in my life. I know that the people who are in our lives don't measure us as a family and as individuals on our credit score or how much we have saved, but I do feel we are back to being this needy family. I thought we had finally broken through this wall. Please pray for me, that I will lean on the Lord and find cushion in Him. I do trust Him...I choose to, but right now it's not a hopeful trust. His plans are better than mine, its so funny because we thought we had it all layed out for us. We will see what happens.